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Gravy! The Musical

by This is Terrible

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1.
Introkudin 01:42
<<played on electric guitar>> "Welcome to Pangrottle a land where vinegar flows to the sea. Take a look around and let me know what you think."
2.
FRASER: day after day meat after meat saying hello to the people i meet my name is Fraser and how do you do? how has this morning been treating you? LIQUORTRON: I an Liquortron I am a robot my functions are at top efficiency you look to be a man but maybe a girl perhaps a boy. are you a woman? FRASER: it is fantastic the bond that we have so much love between droid and man where meatballs grow in this fantastic land straight from the bush and into the can FRASER SR: Fraser O Fraser the balls aren't plucking themselves! meat after meat they never sells too dry, too spicy, there's not enough meat i thinks they're deadly though all i eats Fraser O Fraser where do we dwell when the Taxman comes from Port Aux Sel? FRASER: I dunno Fadder we will see, perhaps I could make it less spicy a cooling liquid which could also be hot? something like meat except it is not LIQUORTRON: a savoury lubricating substance would suffice. I have no knowledge of this in my databanks FRASER SR: Fraser O Fraser who the Jesus is this?! Robocalcutronics mechanical electric mess get out of the fields, out of my face Fraser O Fraser bring me the grace FRASER: that is my love although you think Sept's not there's room in this world for girl and bot the farm and the family may all go to hell one punch for you Fadder, on to Port Aux Sel
3.
MISSSTERY LADY: Fraser Fraser Sage wisdom never stranger but listen, listen Fraser I'd advise as a wise behaviour hear me tell of you the news of hot cooling goo it's true, it's brown made of salty bullion from the fround Fraser are you ready? Gather for me these items 3 one round, two slippery for you will meet your destiny there will be a man with a pointed black hat don't hold back don't you need a board seek a sword perhaps passage to Slabrador don't hesitate to take Fadder's last roll of tape
4.
FRASER: something sharp and something long and something on rolls LIQUORTRON: sword board tape FRASER: something mean and something flat and something that holds LIQUORTRON: sword board tape FRASER: never left the farm or seen the city before LIQUORTRON: I have FRASER: we need these things to save the farm before it's too late LIQUORTRON: clarification requried FRASER: well you see a lady came to me in my dreams and told me of something that is warm brown and hot it's salty and it's thick and it cools down my food. something like meat 'cept not LIQUORTRON: I am composed of less than 0.1% meat search elsewhere for meat products FRASER: there's a man there's a hat it is pointy it is black he's by the water or something like that LIQUORTRON: the only body of water is the Heinz Veingar™ Sea FRASER: there's a road nearby we're gonna walk it and find supplies
5.
KONY: what kind of man is this?! GRAVOS: with a droid KONY: moves so carelessly GRAVOS: looks like a boy i can smell it, she's coming for the gravy KONY: buy why?! why why?? GRAVOS: silence! you know why those meatballs are far too dry far too dry it's about time KONY: what?! GRAVOS: you know what I mean KONY: oh I do I do I'll guard the gates sir, they won't pass through through through nobody ever solves our jeopardy. always never untrue!
6.
Port Aux Sel 01:36
FRASER: Raunchous murmur bustle in the crowd! Fresh cod and all the vegetables Big Marys and some questionables merchants, sailors, and the Taxman you should see the size of the rats man LIQUORTRON: boards. we need boards FRASER: Boards i heard about boards do you have boards? i need boards? SOYASAUCE DEALER: I got fluids I got greases FRASER: do you have gravy? SOYASAUCE DEALER: I got pieces come in my shop see what i have FRASER: 1000 is a lot to ask! HASHPIRATE: oh it's a lot let me tell you what is he sellin? FRASER: gravy the finest in all the land HASHPIRATE: that be mere soysauce me buddy get on me ship and we'll show you the real raw
7.
HASHPIRATES 01:13
CAPTN BLACK: Hash oh hash it's worth more than cash what a life what an age a pirates own wage my blood it runs black and it keeps us on track to the land of hash BOTH: tons and tons of hash MATE KEEFE: it's probable cause that these b'ys they smoke draws! hash pirates be we BOTH: who the fuck are ye? who the fuck are ye? MATE KEEFE: sails the high seas ripped outta out trees on a quest for the shish Captn Black and Mate Keefe! CAPTN BLACK: what a fine day to be on the Heinz Veinegar™ Sea! across the straight to Slabrador to get the hashish for ye for ye Land ho me buddy! can taste the black and honey unload the holds lads! we needs our money It strikes me funny ye b'ys and yer laws one more thing: do ye smoke draws? CREW: da bys smoke draws the bys smoke draws the bys smoke draws BOTH: but do dey smoke draws? CREW: da bys smoke draws the bys smoke draws the bys smoke draw BOTH: but do dey smoke draws? CREW: da bys smoke draws the bys smoke draws the bys smoke drawss
8.
dope da dope 03:28
HASHPIRATE: aye that be our man with the hash FRASER: and you say he knows where to get the bullion? HASHPIRATE: he is bullion lassy heheheh LIQUORTRON: he appears hostile HASHPIRATE: Corey can be testy but the hashish is finest FRASER: and you leave us in your boat? COREY: I don't sell drugs b'y I only sells the dope the dope! I got weed man whatever ya need Green orange purple red and crystally wanna try? I'll smoke ya up for free Oh and there's some deadly hashish, believe me Afghani Moroccan and Lebanese Indian Dutch Pakistani and BC but if ya asks for gear again I'm gonna get the rope I don't sell drugs b'y I only sells da dope da dope EVERYONE (refrain): dope dope dope da dope da dope da dope da dope dope dope dope da dope da dope da dope da dope dope dope da dope da dope da dope i don't sell drugs b'y i only sells da dope da dope COREY: oh buddy we got oils raw distillate, budder, shatter from fresh soils the rosin is pretty deadly when she boils we even got a wide selection of terpenoids FRASER: excuse me sir I'm very sorry but you're the HASHPIRATEs' friend Corey? you could tell us what to do to bullion I hope just wanna taste the gravy I know ya only sells da dope da dope EVERYONE refrain COREY: sorry missy don't eat the suff myself just trades bullion for hash to grow my wealth but i know a few fellas in Ugander who can make the brown from the raw if that's what yer after LIQUORTRON: gravy a brown lubricating substance FRASER: I heard it tastes good and that's why I want it COREY: yeah a few folks like it no joke i'll tell ya again though i only sells da dope da dope EVERYONE refrain
9.
KONY: I'm Kony Baloney I'm Gravos' crony answer my riddles to enter the cave prove that you're no phony I'm Kony Baloney I'm made of balogna if you think you've got what it takes you're gonna have to show me you've woken me on this horrible day answer my riddles or be on your way so much to do so little to say answer carefully or end up in your grave are you ready? what do you get when you cross a bat with a riddley diddley rat? FRASER: the answer to that's my neighbour's cat KONY: correct what has two legs, never sleeps, but closes its eyes whenever it eats? LIQUORTRON: a 5-piece-bedroom-and-dining set KONY: also correct a circle of stuff that holds stuff together the things that are stuck are not stuck forever? LIQUORTRON: tape KONY: also correct when a bologna man stands in your way what will you do what will you say? FRASER: well we'd murder him KONY: what no? I'm Kony Baloney I'm dying bologna my salted blood is burning my wounds my body is limp and holey I'm Koney Baloney please don't leave this bologna 1000 years I've lived in this cave don't want to die aloney
10.
FRASER: brown it's wet it's salty i need it gravy it's what i need gravy it's what i lack need gravy now it's gravy how? it's salty there's meatballs they're cold and dry there's meatballs i wanna cry we're gonna have such gravy on them we're gonna have such gravy now yeah what if gravy was brown woah woah woah omg there's a thing and it can go on the meatballs and then make it better omg it's a lubricant it's wet and it's cold and it's not cold it's HOT it's HOT it's HOT omg it's hot how is this happening it's not even room temperature it's not even room temperature it comes out of a vat and it goes onto the balls makes em better we can put it in a can can we put it in a can? i dunno can we?
11.
GRAVOS: you'll never have bullion you'll never taste browning your feeble buds will only taste mud i'll simmer you on low more broth for the flow you'll be the savoury in my new gravy FRASER: Gravos you fiend I've no interest in your stores I just want recipes for the fluid that i adore LIQUORTRON: a basic list of ingredients would suffice spices are plentiful in Pangrottle FRASER: give a man a boat and he eats for a week but give this girl the recipe and we all eat like we're freaks LIQUORTRON: a nourishing lubricant will improve the taste experience GRAVOS: this idea intrigues we'll show the world what it lacks I'll make you a sample a batch for you pack FRASER: did you hear that we'll save the farm! now we need cans it's too much for our hands LIQUORTRON: my composition is 98% cannable materials
12.
FRASER: gravy pours from the can GRAVOS: gravy straight into the pan FRASER SR: Fraser O Fraser what nonsense is this? these meatballs are ruined you've just made a mess! FRASER: just try it O Father you might be impressed the lengths that we've gone to have cost us our best FRASER SR: by the Jesus this liquid frees us what a taste experience FRASER & SR: the farm has been saved thanks to the grave Fraser Farm Meatballs and Gravy™!
13.
LIQUORTRON: the gravy now flows and the farm's been saved you're eating well but i'm in the grave what about me and my dreams? maybe I had a family probably had some hobbies at least maybe a dog or cat or tree what about me? would have it been so hard to get the cans from the farm? I wish I was celebrating with you, we both got it done saw the whole thing through but you ground me up it's not good enough what about me? what about me? my brain is steel but my thoughts are real we saved the day but now i'm not there do you even care? what about me? goodbye Fraser

about

This is Terrible presents: Gravy!

A musical for RPM 2017

credits

released March 1, 2017

Starring:

Gary Grossman as Fraser
Gary Grossman as Liquortron
Randy as Fraser Sr
Law, The as Missstery Lady
Gary Grossman as The Soy Sauce Dealer
Law, The as Captain Black
Randy as First Mate Preston Keefe
Tom Paris as Kony Baloney
Law, The as Gravos


This is Terrible was:

Law, The (&)
Gary Goodlooking (*)
Tom Paris(@)
Randy (!)
Gary Grossman ($)
Meegan Realger(`)


1 !&
2 !*
3 *&
4 &$
5 &!@
6 !&$
7 !&
8 &$!
9 @*
10 !&$@
11 &!$
12 &$!
13 `$

The byz wrote and recorded this Feb 16 - Feb 28 at Club Z

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This is Terrible St. John'S, Newfoundland and Labrador

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