Choir: in the ancient times there was Clornia
evil t'was awash both in the near and far
with heroes of might and villians with spite
it was the eve of evil and Clornia must fight

*Meanwhile in the courtyard*

Bard (speaks): "Gather round children and I'll tell you of evil men"
(sings) Evil Men the Evil Men I'll tell you of evil men
Evil Men the Evil Men you'll hear of evil men
one man was evil the other man was good
one man fought with magic the other fought with wood

Evil Man 1 (singing): Take a shilling don't leave a shilling that's that i do
then i borrow your chamber pot and don't wash out my poo
loud at the ampitheatre so you can't hear a thing
visit your house while you're eating lunch and eat your last wing

Evil Man 2 (singing): Evil man evil man evil man I am
I'll rob your last goat and then chop down your bran
Flood all your cellars and flatten your land
Evil man evil man evil man I am

Evil Men (singing): we're the various evil men and we are very bad
we'll break into your house and probably kill your dad
we'll release your livestock then drink all your mead
evil men evil men we're worse than we seem

*back in present time*

Child (speaks): please tell us about the evil men again

Guardian (scolding): but i just told you about the Evil Men of Clornia! ahh... would you like to hear of the Evil Men of Cloria?

*in Cloria (announced by choir)*

Evil man 3 (sings): Evil Man the Evil Man I will not clean your step
even if you're 99 and got a broken neck
I don't like nobody no matter near or far
I'll come on my lunch break just to key your car

Evil man 4 (sings): An evil man I'm an evil man I love to play the game
lie cheat smoke cigarettes a bastard can't be tamed
I'm a man with a problem a problem with your face
I'll get ya while you're pissin and you'll piss all over the place

Evil Men (sing): We're the various evil men and we are very bad
we've all been evil ever since we were a lad
(DALONE MAN)
Evil men (return): we're the various evil men don't listen to anything we did
cuz we only tells fibs yes we only tells fibs

Bard (speaks): but here is a truth you should bare in mind
none of these men (sings) are as evil as i!
The Evilest Man The Evilest Man I've eaten all your ham
I won't take your hounds for a walk and I'll replace your flour with chalk
I would slap the queen in the tits and I would never ever give tips
it is the eve of Evil and I am The Evilest Man

EVIL MEN *EVIL RACOUS LAUGHTER*