Kony's Riddles

from Gravy! The Musical by This is Terrible

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lyrics

KONY: I'm Kony Baloney
I'm Gravos' crony
answer my riddles to enter the cave
prove that you're no phony
I'm Kony Baloney
I'm made of balogna
if you think you've got what it takes
you're gonna have to show me

you've woken me on this horrible day
answer my riddles or be on your way
so much to do so little to say
answer carefully or end up in your grave

are you ready?

what do you get when you cross a bat with a riddley diddley rat?

FRASER: the answer to that's my neighbour's cat

KONY: correct
what has two legs, never sleeps, but closes its eyes whenever it eats?

LIQUORTRON: a 5-piece-bedroom-and-dining set

KONY: also correct
a circle of stuff that holds stuff together the things that are stuck are not stuck forever?

LIQUORTRON: tape

KONY: also correct
when a bologna man stands in your way what will you do what will you say?

FRASER: well we'd murder him

KONY: what no?
I'm Kony Baloney
I'm dying bologna
my salted blood is burning my wounds
my body is limp and holey
I'm Koney Baloney
please don't leave this bologna
1000 years I've lived in this cave
don't want to die aloney

credits

from Gravy! The Musical, released March 1, 2017

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This is Terrible St. John'S, Newfoundland and Labrador

A collective of various projects by skilled individuals

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